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Talk:Ekaterina Branch/@comment-26570550-20150703225643
There are MANY grammar errors in this article, and since I cannot edit, I want to point them out. Firstly, the phrase in the INTRODUCTION "They are more commonly known, and called, the Ekats for short" does not need unnecessary commas. Simply, you can write the phrase as "They are more commonly known and called Ekats for short." In the HISTORY section, "The Ekaterina was named after, and founded, by Katherine Cahill, the second child of Gideon and Olivia Cahill," has an error in comma placement. It should be "The Ekaterina was named after and founded by Katherine Cahill, the second child of Gideon and Olivia Cahill." Also in the HISTORY section of the Ekat, "The branch's main enemy is the Tomas Branch because Katherine stole one from her brother Thomas, founder of the Tomas branch", ''has an error. Katherine stole one what? Katherine stole a clue from Thomas; however it was not listed in this phrase. So, the phrase should instead be "''The branch's main enemy is the Tomas Branch because Katherine stole a clue from her brother Thomas, founder of the Tomas branch." Also, in the HISTORY section, this phrase "With the compass in her hands now, Katherine moved to an unknown, far-off land, presumably Egypt, as she was a fascinated with Egyptology being an Egyptologist herself." ''switches tenses with the phrase before, so it should be fixed to past tense. In the MASCOT section, there is a small mistake. The phrase "The Ekaterina's mascot is the Dragon, because the dragon is a mythological creature that appears in countless forms, thus representing and symbolizing the Ekat's creativeness, intelligence, and inventiveness, as well as their willingness to destroy anyone or anything in their path." 'is much too verbose. The phrase "because the dragon ... countless forms" is completely unnecessary and does not explain the point. How does a dragon being a mythical creature support the reason why the creature is the mascot of the Ekat? Consider this revision: '''"The Ekaterina's mascot is the Dragon, and although it is a mythical one, it represents the Ekat’s creativeness, intelligence, and inventiveness, as well as their willingness to destroy anyone or anything in their path." In the CREST section, there is a small error. "The Ekaterina crest is a shield in the shape of a square with jutted, or gradually-pointed tips at the top and bottom of the shield" ''does not need the comma after 'jutted'. An error in CREST is as follows. '"The Ekat crest, and official color, is yellow or a gradiance of yellow and orange." 'is full of unnecessary words and commas. Additionally, the correct term for 'gradiance' is 'GRADIENT'. So, it should be: "The Ekat crest and official color is either yellow or a yellow/orange gradient."'' Another error in the CREST section contains spelling and grammar mistakes. "In thecenter of the crest is a white dragon; two legs, two wings, a curled and barbed tail, and a head facing left with it's mouth open, exposing a breathe of fire" should be "In the center of the crest is a white dragon with two legs, two wings, a curled barb tail, and a left-ward facing head breathing fire." In this mistake in the CHARACTERISTICS section, two words ('in' and 'engineering') have no spaces between them. "Ekaterinas excel in engineering, math and patterns, and the sciences." ''is a correct phrase. The EKATERINA AGENT CARD CODES section has a small error that is not related to grammar, but make this article look unprofessional. The phrase ''"If you're an Ekaterina, and you have an Agent Card, please feel free to post your card code to this portion of this page so others can have it!!!" does not need the two extra exclamations. Consider only using one. Sorry, my OCD compelled me to write this.